Most people can think of ‘bad managers’; the boss that didn’t know their job, couldn’t manage staff properly, never listened, didn’t communicate effectively and so on. The same goes for managers thinking of former (or even current) staff. These views can often be characteristic of the fact that some ‘manager – employee’ relationships simply don’t work. Recently I’ve started to wonder why, and perhaps more importantly reflect on the damage that oft results.
I’ve been fortunate to work for some brilliant managers. Over the years, they’ve helped me learn and grow, pushed me when I needed it, and yes also kicked me when I needed it. Fortunately, I’ve had very little direct exposure to ‘bad management’; I doubt this is down just to luck. Several of my former bosses have said I am actually easy to manage, whereas I’ve always had the feeling the opposite is true. So why the discrepancy, and why have I apparently been so lucky in my managers? Initially I thought it was because I’ve often had a relationship with my managers before they were my managers. This is because I’ve worked in my organisation a long time and am fairly well known. Getting to know each other this way I think helps, but I doubt is the reason. More likely, I think, is how I see that relationship. I’ve never seen my boss as ‘the boss stereotype’, someone who must be obeyed and whose word is law. Knowing them before them becoming my boss has helped me early on in my career see that when I work for someone I should see it as a partnership, and I now construct the relationship on those terms.
That relationships are constructed is important; they exist independently (mentally speaking) of the people within them. They have characteristics that are specific to that relationship, that are understood by everyone without explanation and they change based on actions and feedback from both parties. And this is related to bad management how, you ask? Since that type of relationship is also constructed, then it is a result of both participant’s view of the other, of their respective actions, the history, and what they see as the likely future of the relationship. The relationship is defined by both participants, regardless as to whether it is good or bad.
The problem with bad management relationships is that if my success is partly grounded in the success of the partnership I have with my boss, then a poor relationship makes success far more difficult and failure far more likely. This is not good for the people involved, or the business.
A bad relationship is also poorly placed to improve, as it is very much easier to allow it to stagnate or degrade further than to make the effort to correct – especially if the employee isn’t sure how to approach it or the manager doesn’t recognise there’s even a problem. This is where bad management is more than just inconvenient and poor practice: because the nature of relationships is to a large degree based on past interactions between participants (which people often view as a sound predictor of future interactions), it is possible for a bad one to damage the performance of the manager and the relevant member of staff, and for this damage to worsen as the relationship becomes increasingly ineffective.
At its worse, a previously successful manager or high-performing member of staff can suddenly appear very much the opposite as their management relationship deteriorates.
In a good relationship, if an employee (or manager) fails to do something or doesn’t do it in the way required, it is likely that both parties will put it down to an error, to a misunderstanding, to any number of things. In some cases, both parties may go so far as try to take responsibility for the failure from the other, sometimes attempting to ‘win’ responsibility so the other person doesn’t feel bad! In damaged relationships what happens is different. The reason attributed to the failure often takes on rather more sinister overtones: “nothing would have been right for my boss” or “I told him what to do, but he deliberately did it wrong”, or many other variations.
The important detail is that in good relationships, former experiences lead people to make positive judgements and attributions when possible sources of conflict arise, which tends to ‘damp down issues’; in deteriorating relationships, people make negative judgements, which tend only to reinforce underlying problems. Both of these carry forward to the next interaction, often further reinforcing belief in a virtuous or vicious circle that can be difficult to break.
Although I’ve written about good and bad relationships, I think, that there are three types of management relationship: the good, the bad, and the neutral. There may be little excuse for a bad management relationship, but it doesn’t mean the opposite is true and that all relationships should be good: some people simply aren’t going to ‘get on’ enough to form this, and this is where I believe ‘neutral’ relationships come in.
With two willing participants, two people who don’t get on can have a successful – and stress-free – management relationship. These relationships are based on shared professional respect for one another, and first and foremost to these is the need for clarity around expectations. It must be clear what a manager expects and what a subordinate will deliver, or vice versa. Ambiguity around this will be fatal to the relationship, but if there is task-based clarity that allows the basis of a relationship to form around “we agreed I would do this and here it is”, then respect should follow. They might still want to shove each other under the nearest bus, but the relationship will still be productive and less likely to damage everyone’s credibility, team morale, and – most importantly – the business. Both manager and employee are equally well placed to get this process starting, and Blanchard’s book “The One Minute Manager” remains an excellent reference for setting and agreeing tasks that would support this form of relationship.
And what if clarity about goals and expectations can’t be agreed between them? Then one – and potentially both – people in the relationship need to examine whether they are being honest about their approach and motivations and make a renewed effort, and if that proves impossible, well, in the words on Sir Alan Sugar, at the end of the exercise, one of you will be fired...
The only thing certain about a bad management relationship is it won’t be productive, and no business should allow that.
